Birth Order

Sometime we wonder why we are the way we are? We are all too different, complex, and unique. There is no way to always predict how one person may turn out? Life could have been very simple otherwise, isn’t it? What we can be sure of is the following:
• Living in a family is a unique and distinctive experience.
• A person’s family exerts more influence on him or her than any other organization, institution, or experience.

Does it matter, whether you are firstborn or lastborn; only child or twin? Until I saw a video last week, I was firm believer that nature, family, culture, and education play an imperative role in defining individual’s demeanor. This video instigated me to do some research on this captivating topic. It was enlightening to see that Birth Order is equally important. I could able to connect the dots, and relate this to my own life and things around me. Birth order not only helps to understand the traits of your own children, friends, but also in some cases can help in planning your family, life partner, and career.

Birth order is defined as your rank in your sibling constellation: firstborn, middleborn, lastborn, only child, or twin. No matter what spot we occupy in the family, there are many forces that can intervene and turn things around for us. Age gap between siblings also plays a major role and typically, more than 5 years of age gap between two siblings fades out the effect.

This blog attempts to consolidate few key traits and the facts of Birth order.

Firstborns, by nature, are perfectionist, reliable, list-maker, well-organized, critical, serious, scholarly, achiever, self-sacrificing, people-pleaser, conservative, supporter of law and order, believer in authority and ritual, legalistic, loyal, and self-reliant. They are generally forced to follow in father’s or mother’s footsteps. They assume more responsibility for their age. For their future partner, following general rules can be applicable mostly:
• Older sister of sisters – Try to match up with younger brother or male only child.
• Older sister of brothers - Try to match up with younger brother of sisters.
• Older brother – Try to match up with younger sister
• When two firstborn date, they usually experience rank conflict.

Following are the facts germane to firstborns:
• According to CareerBuilder.com survey, earn six figure incomes and hold senior management level positions. They work in Jobs related to government, engineering, pharmacy and science.
• According to Ohio State University researchers, they pursue career in "intellectual" jobs.
• More than 1/2 of the U.S. Presidents were first born children.
• 21 of the 23 first astronauts were first born children.
• 2/3 of entrepreneurs are first born children.
• A few know examples of first born celebrities are: Oprah, Hillary and Bill Clinton, Winston Churchill.


Middleborns, by nature, are Mediator, have fewer pictures in the family photo album, avoid conflicts, independent, extreme loyal to their peer group, have many friends, close to friends than family. They feel "squeezed" if third child is born. They act as if in race, trying to catch up or overtake first child. If first child is "good," second may become "bad." The middleborns may develop abilities first child doesn't exhibit. If first child is successful, middle born may feel uncertain of self abilities. Their future partner depends on the gender of their older and younger siblings and to a lesser extent on the age gap between his or her and them. For example, Britney Spears has a brother who is 4 years older to her, and a sister who is 10 yrs younger to her. As mentioned above, more than 5 years of age gap can be relaxed. Considering that, the ideal match for Britney would be a guy with sisters. Kevin Federline, her ex husband, has two brothers. Her marriage failed after 2 years. From the example, it is clear that a better match for middleborn could be a guy who has sister(s).

Following are the facts germane to middleborns:
• According to Careerbuilder.com survey, earn a decent salary but somewhat lesser than firstborne children. They like to work in professional and technical staff level positions and mostly satisfied with their jobs. They work in jobs related to nursing, law enforcement, firefighting and machine operation.
• They have excellent negotiating and people skills.
• A few know examples of middle born celebrities are: David Letterman, Richard Nixon, Madonna, Princess Diana, Britney Spears, Donald Trump, Ted Kennedy, and Julia Robert.

Lastborns, by nature, are manipulative, charming, blame others, ostentatious, people person, good salesperson, precocious. Besides being charming, outgoing, affectionate, and uncomplicated, they can also be defiant, critical, temperamental, spoiled, impatient, and impetuous—the “dark side” of the last-born. Last-borns carry the curse of not being taken seriously, first by their families and then by the world. They tend to go against the norm. They make the biggest stirs in life. They know no boundaries. The best match for a lastborn boy would be a firstborn girl as firstborn can provide more direction, guidance to the lastborn who always assume to have a childish attitude.

Following are the facts germane to lastborns:
• According to Careerbuilder.com survey, least likely to report six figures earnings. They like to work in art, design, sales and information technology and mostly in administrative and clerical level positions and least satisfied with their jobs.
• According to OSU survey, they are inclined towards artistic and outdoor jobs.
• They are also successful in journalism, advertising, sales and athletics.
• A few know examples of middle born celebrities are: Howard Stern, Bill Gates,

Only Children, by nature, are tantamount to firstborn children. They are achievement-oriented, successful in school, have problems in delegating work, hate denunciation and tend to be perfectionists. The best match for only male child would be an older sister of sisters or an older sister of brothers. The best match for only female child would be an older brother of sisters. Mother of an only child also plays a role in deciding the match. If mother of an only child is first born, then best match would be lastborn guy.

Following are the facts germane to only children:
• A few know examples of middle born celebrities are: Nancy Reagan, Chelsea Clinton.

Twins of same sex, by nature, are mostly competitor whereas opposite sex are mostly companion. They tend to have different personalities and interests, but are closer to each other than other siblings and tend to have less conflict with each other than other siblings.

Following are the facts germane to twins:
• A few know examples of middle born celebrities are: Jenna and Barbara Bush.

Not only the birth order but also the spacing, the sex (Female helps mother and male helps father) and the physical makeup (look, body, and disability) matter. The functional birth order matters than the biological birth order.

In summary, one cannot ignore the birth order. Birth order can play a tie breaker role in many places as described in this blog. Birth order can be used to decide a life partner. One can look at the biography of known people and their birth order. Learn from the mistakes they have done. Refer to Britney’s example above.

References:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/worklife/10/22/cb.birth.order.career/index.html
http://www.childdevelopmentinfo.com/development/birth_order.htm
http://www.birthorderandpersonality.com/index.html
http://www.umext.maine.edu/onlinepubs/htmpubs/4359.htm